春光乍洩

春光乍洩 is all about two gays that were deeply in love with each other, acted by two of the above. Leslie Cheung and Tony Leung both acted very professional in this show, and of course this show was directed by famous Director Wong Kar-wai. This show is like an art to me, very life-based. I think Ren should watch! hahas. It shows how gay flirt around and how they have sex together, not very porn kind but the first scene was already showing them having sex. In the end, two gays never end up together, as Fai(Tony) couldn’t stand how Wing (Leslie) always cheat on him and ran away, and he end up liking Chang, a more simple and happy gay. happy together indeed.

 

 

P.S: I think I’m crazy over show of his, but he was and he is still very amazing to me as an actor.

my nicknames

Due to the fact the my colleagues find my name hard to pronounce, they are starting to give me nicknames each day. Ong Su Su, Ong Mei Shu, Ah Shu, Shu shu, Ah Girl whatever you can say with my names, they named it. I really enjoy working at PSA, at DHL, at that particular small department, where everyone is so funny and sense of humour is super good. Though sometimes there is some generation gap in between them and me, we still craps a lot. Eugene is really one funny guy with a funny-hilarious voice, i will sure miss his voice, that makes me laugh when i am stress or bored. I felt that I am being pamper by my colleagues, at many times when i can make so many mistakes at a go, they still just take it easy and tell me how to do again. Just take for examples, yesterday i was doing permits via tradenet, and miss out a lot of information, if it wasnt for Eugene who checked my permits, I think I am a gone case already, I will learn hard. Being in this department really let me see both bad and good side of working life. Bad side is, be alert, know your stuff isnt enough, to know what others do makes you a more valuable employee and if you make mistakes you bound to get scolding. Good side is that everyone is so bored of work, they will start to crap around and make life easier there by helping one another, but this does not apply everywhere, for where i am yes it does.

I’m not going to move on…

I’m not going to move on till he appears.

He is the only one that makes me so determine to wait, no matter what.
Nothing makes my heart beats so fast just by looking at him from the back.
People may think that I’m crazy, but I just have a strong feeling that I’ll meet him again.
I don’t know how soon will it be but I’ll wait.
First time I was shocked, second time I was scared but third time I’m going to chase.
To see him again isn’t to make him fall in love with me, but I just want to know him one more time when I look at him in the eyes.

simple birthday.

 

 

 

It was kind of simple birthday celebration, marathon all the way movies at Janice’s new friend’s house. First time met him, and knowing that it was my birthday, he bought a card for me. We watched many shows, but the best was Harold and Kumar going to White castle. The show was really hilarious, and I watched it like early morning 3 plus, so I was kinda of even high. After marathoning, we went to Jalan Kayu to have breakfast, and walked all the way back home. A good exercise indeed. I went home and straight away my bro, mum and I went to Mount Faber to walk walk. It wasnt really a pleasant trip as my bro expected more trilling walk than just walking a few steps with my mum. Hmmm… teenage thinking, I won’t blame, I didn’t used to understand though. In the late afternoon, I was exhausted so I took an hour nap. Late in the evening, we went out to town, along with cheeyong, huiting and meiling. Birthday doesn’t end that early, I did my reflection journals till 4.30 am the next day. It was horrible when i woke up, feeling very heating and not well, thought of escaping work, but in the end I still drag myself all the way to work.

追

追 in saxophone. lovely, it was a fan of Leslie Cheung who played this piece of music.

Farewell my concubine

Farewell my concubine (霸王别姬), acted by Leslie Cheung in 1993 along with Gong Li. It is Leslie Cheung’s first gay film and it is pretty long movie, lasted for 3 hours, spent my entire afternoon watching this show yesterday and i think is nice to watch.

Towards the end of the story when I was quite confused, and wondering why he wanted to die infront of Xiaolou, only after 11 years.

dreamz fm

Should I stay
by dreamz fm

Had a drive
Driven by your love
But when you messed around
I lost the drive I found

Thought you needed
Needed someone true
But you changed your mind
Or had I failed you?

Wish you’d been
Careful with my heart
But you tore it apart
And broke an angel’s heart

The kiss was true
Has to end somehow
But I am livin’ proof of what love is about

It’s hard holding you
Loving you, losing you
It’s sad to be true
And be fooled by you
I don’t know (I don’t know)
I gotta know
Should I stay or should I go?

You played me on
Played me like a clown
But I feel for you
Eventhough I’m down

My heart is heavy
Heavy like a rock
But I am so amused
You’re still in my thoughts

It’s hard holding you
Loving you, losing you
It’s sad to be true
And be fooled by you
I don’t know (I don’t know)
I gotta know
Should I stay or should I go?

Oooohh…should I stay?
Should I go?

It’s hard holding you
Loving you, losing you
It’s sad to be true
And be fooled by you
I don’t know (I don’t know)
I wanna know
Should I stay or should I…?

This time its done
It’ll never feel the same
But we had some good times
Guess it’s sad just the same

I guess the truth
Doesn’t matter somehow
But you were livin’ proof of what love is about…

FAT BEN BEN.

I’m so missing FAT BEN BEN.
It’s been a year plus, but I just can’t stop thinking of him, such an adorable FAT CAT.
I want to have another FAT BEN BEN in my life later on…

I’m angry and disappointed.

I was angry not because of one thing, but over all is accumulated. I understand that everyone is very busy, I’m damn free, but out of so many days, would you have a free weekend and at least take the initiative to plan something, rather than always me, me, me? Hello, pls try planning for so many times, fast reply but only to reject quickly. Well, I’m disappointed. Sorry isn’t the word I want, excuses ain’t the things to explain all, but I just want everyone to reflect did you all even think of meeting each other. Well, I thought yes i do, and even if you all say ‘let’s go out on friday night or sunday’, i’m more than willing to sacrifice my Buddhism lessons, just to even meet for an hour or more. None took up the initiative to do so. Well, perhaps I’m really only the damn free person and ‘the most kick a fuss out of small thing’ person (as quoted by Melissa Wee).

Well, Melissa is really keen to meet, i appreciated, but only when others plan and text everyone, then she can tell you that she is keen. Oh yeah, that makes her the second most free person with absolute no initiative. She only know how to push all the planning to me and if i push to her, she jolly well not happy and do nothing. thanks, for the great help. Another thing, only when I give up planning to go out for the last sharing session, then only did people felt not wrong and took up initiative to go out. Well, I lied about not wanting to go ice skate, because I felt so disappointed. Not just since SIP, but long before exams, after exams, before SIP, I try to organise everyone to come out, failed. I missed the night at Holland.V, which was bloody hell long ago. Couple of things happened around us, and we got to go out more often, that’s how I thought, ever since Melissa and KB have some problems with Michelle. Oh well, Melissa unreasonable text me and shoot me that I was the one having problems with Michelle and said that I wanted to have a talk with Michelle and all. Hello, that was for you to talk, Melissa Wee. You are the one having problem with her, not me. The ’suppose meet up’ was intended for you, say until I have a lot of problems with everyone. Come on man, who is the one that is always calling Michelle dumb for nothing, stupid for what she did, and bimbo whenever we mentioned about Michelle? Don’t you think that it a little bit too much to scold her in front of so many people, everytime? I admit I have some problems with Michelle, but it was only communication problem, unlike you, making real big fuss and scold her in front so many people. hello, people do have pride, so does Michelle, even if she don’t mind being scolded, I can’t bear to see you know. Sometime, I choose to only have one ear and one eye. Seriously, sometime I just wanted to shut Melissa and KB up, just for Michelle, hell out of nonsenses.

Why would Is say so much about Melissa, because she text me when I text everyone else the same message that I was angry. She thought that I messaged that to her only, and when I explained, she say I’m kicking a fuss out of nothing, saying that I say her insentive and inconsiderate. Think about it, is that what I was saying about all the long, NO! and she just want to quarrel with me. Fine, I give in to her, though I was on the verge of calling her and shut her up. Seriously, because of her ignorance to see things clear enough, I give in. I have enough of her, and that’s it. She just can’t understand the meaning of ‘character crushed’, well I guessed she failed her english.

impossible intention

 

 

 These photos were my intention to send it to her when it was her birthday this year, but then it all impossible already. Starting to paste all my photos around my rooms, and I remembered these photos. Spending time to edit and find these photos. Anyway, it is useless to think about it anymore. But it is always good to reminisce.