turmoil situation

I have know idea what is my Erjiedoing, she has not been helpful in the family, in this kind of situation somemore. My Dajieis really not happy plus stress plus tired. What to do? There are so many things, such as insurance claim, law firm thingy, Traffic police, hospital bill and SBS thingy. Arh, there are really many things on her head, which I cant help to carry the burden. My Dajie just had an argument with my mum about my Erjie’s attitude towards my dad. I have no idea and not in the position to ask, I feel like asking my Erjie, but then forget it la, later make things worse. I really don’t know what to do, felt rather useless not to be able to help my Dajie to settle those things. Hospitals’ bills came in today, $2,000 plus for CGH and $2,000 plus for AMKCH (15 days only). Oh my gosh, how to survive? Maybe the proposed of contract basis is a good thing for me after all. If I were to be permanent staff, I might have to contribute to CPF and pay back my dad a certain amount every month for poly fee. Even though I give it back to my dad, I’m not sure whether can he use or put back to CPF. Haiz… There is so many things unknown. In additional, recently my dad found out that at AMKCH he has to actually pay for the rehab exercise each session he do. We thought it was in the package of $128 per day. $128 x 15days = $1920, now dont know why is it 3,000 (before govt subsidy).

怎么瓣？

比起以前，现在的我对每件事情都感觉没有动力去做，就好像死了的人一样。
是以为那几件事吗，让我对自己没有心信吗？
好朋友可能觉的我作出的决定是对的，可是看到其他人对我不满的眼神和不喜欢，好像我是大坏人一样，我还是感到不自在。
终觉得很像是欠了她们一样，要在这半年过这很不开心的日子。
都要离校了，还是觉的大家不知道事情的经过就给我的那种脸，让我感到十分的不满。
我胜不过她们对人的假，我也永远也不想于这一点胜过她们。咳！
可是现在的我跟死人有什么不同？怎么瓣？

I’m lack of PROACTIVENESS in whatever I’m doing. Realising this shortcoming only during the process of FYP. From Shihui, I realised that I’m lack in so many areas, and I got to do something!!! In less than a month, I maybe starting a new life soon, working…

Well, franking speaking this job isn’t what I want to do or even stay long. If it wasn’t because of several factors to consider, I would have rejected Emily, my boss. However, it will be my first official desk-bound job after graduation, I should be optimistic about it! It will be a new start, and this job is going to save me from recession, I should be positive and happy. I hope I would not be as blur as I was during internship, or else I will soon be in deep shit again.

Meanwhile, exam is coming soon, I got to pass every module so that I can graduate. I’m rather disappointed in my mid-sem result for both modules that I have. Reflecting that my ability to balance in between projects and studies is poor. I need to buck up! I have not been giving myself stress for quite some time already, not even during FYP. Worries are not naturally stress. In my content, stress is something that can either pull you off from reality or it can push you forward to achieve a better result. Ever since my last achievement(at least something I think I have achieved), I have been having worries and only a little bit of stress that has not been pushing me forward, but hidding at one corner. Coward! Haiz…

FYP

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Final Year Project is finally over! I’m done with it! 20 more days to graduation, and I can’t bear to let it happen so fast.